Make the best Valentine's Day card with these hilariously heartfelt jokes and pickup lines (2024)

Valentine's Day cards are a staple of the love-filled holiday, a tradition that may have started after an imprisoned saint sent a love letter to a young girl who visited him often. As the story goes, the saint signed the letter "From your Valentine" before his death.

Today, Valentine's Day greetings are the perfect excuse to share the sentiment with your sweetheart or ask out a crush with a clever message.

Whether you're smitten or single this Feb. 14, we've got you covered with jokes, hilariously terriblepickup lines and card ideas to celebrate the day of love.

Make the best Valentine's Day card with these hilariously heartfelt jokes and pickup lines (1)

Valentine's Day jokes

Why do skunks love Valentine’s Day? Because they’re scent-imental animals!
Why shouldn’t you fall in love with a pastry chef? They’ll dessert you.
What did one snake say to the other on Valentine’s Day? Give me a hug and a hiss, honey.
Why is getting your partner a kitten for Valentine’s Day a good idea? It’s the purr-fect gift.
What did the paper clip say to the magnet? I find you very attractive.
How did the phone propose to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? He gave her a ring.
What did one piece of toast say to the other on Valentine’s Day? You’re my butter half.
What kind of flower should you never give on Valentine’s Day? A cauliflower!
Why didn’t the skeleton want to celebrate Valentine’s Day? His heart wasn’t in it.
What happened to the two angels who got married? They lived harpily ever after.
What’s Cupid’s favorite band? Kiss!
Who always has a date on Valentine’s Day? A calendar.
Why couldn’t the mineral water ever score a date? All his friendships were completely pla-tonic.
What’s the best part about Valentine’s Day? The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.
What did one prune say to the other after agreeing to grab dinner? It’s a date!
Why did all the fruit ask the banana to be their Valentine? It was very a-peel-ing.
What did one Bloody Mary say to the other on Valentine’s Day? Olive you.
What does a chef give their spouse for Valentine’s Day? A hug and a quiche.
What did one flame say to the other on Valentine’s Day? We’re a perfect match!
What did the baker say to his wife on Valentine’s Day? Give me some sugar.
What’s a paper cut’s favorite song on Valentine’s Day? Bleeding Love.
What did the cashew say to the almond to ask it out? I’m nuts about you!
Why did the police officer lock up her Valentine? For stealing her heart.
Which flowers do squirrels give each other on Valentine’s Day? Forget-me-nuts.
What should you say to your single friends on Valentine’s Day? Happy independence day!
What’s the difference between a $20 steak and a $55 steak? Feb. 14.
What do you call a blossoming romance in a fish tank? Guppy love.
What does a vampire call his Valentine? His ghoul-friend.
What did one molecule say to the other? We’ve got great chemistry!
What did the flower say to his unrequited love? I love you once and flor-al.

Corny Valentine's Day pickup lines

If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one.
Roses are red, violets are blue; I sure am glad I swiped right on you.
Are you a loan? Because you definitely have my interest.
Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’m searching for.
I don’t have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?
Do you know what you’d look really beautiful in this Valentine’s Day? My arms.
Are you my appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me think I should take you out.
You look like you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin me.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got fine written all over you.
Are you copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu Te!
You can donate blood to me anytime – you’re just my type.
Are you a desert plant? Because I’m trying to go from cacti to cactus.
Are you a 90-degree angle? Because this feels just right.
If you were a Transformer, you’d be Optimus Fine.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
There’s something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn’t have your number in it.
Hi, my name’s Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?

Valentine's Day card ideas

Looking for a craft to send to your sweetheart this Valentine's Day? Skip the store-bought greeting and show your Valentine they're worth a little extra effort by making your own card this year. Simply fold a piece of paper in half, grab some pens, markers or crayons and draw one of the following images (or print and glue, if drawing isnot your forte) with a punny message:

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Valentine's Day Cards

Valentine's Day cards have become a staple of the holiday, allowing people to express their love and affection for others. The tradition of exchanging cards on Valentine's Day may have originated from a story about an imprisoned saint who sent a love letter to a young girl, signing it "From your Valentine" before his death.

Valentine's Day Greetings

Valentine's Day greetings provide an opportunity to share sentiments with loved ones or even express interest in someone special. These greetings can be in the form of clever messages or pickup lines.

Valentine's Day Jokes

Valentine's Day jokes are a lighthearted way to celebrate the holiday. Here are a few examples:

Why do skunks love Valentine's Day? Because they're scent-imental animals!
Why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef? They'll dessert you.
What did one snake say to the other on Valentine's Day? Give me a hug and a hiss, honey.
Why is getting your partner a kitten for Valentine's Day a good idea? It's the purr-fect gift.
What did the paper clip say to the magnet? I find you very attractive.

These jokes add a touch of humor to the day and can be shared with friends, family, or that special someone.

Valentine's Day Card Ideas

If you're looking to add a personal touch to your Valentine's Day greetings, making your own card can be a great idea. Here are some card ideas along with punny messages:

Draw a bat: "You're fun to hang around with."
Draw a piece of toast: "You're my butter half."
Draw a bear: "I love you beary much."
Draw a rabbit: "Somebunny loves you!"
Draw a cannoli: "I cannoli be happy when I'm with you."
Draw a whale: "Whale you be mine?"
Draw an octopus: "I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!"
Draw an elephant: "I love you a ton!"
Draw a pizza: "Every pizza me loves every pizza you."

These card ideas allow you to showcase your creativity and make your Valentine's Day greetings extra special.

I hope this information helps you understand the concepts mentioned in the article. If you have any more questions or need further assistance, feel free to ask!